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I'm the first one to admit I'm emotionally unavailable and not available for relationships. It's not necessarily a bad thing; more a matter of self-protection.For someone who may be dealing with emotional baggage, this kind of misinformation could add more to their insecurities, labeling them with yet another 'issue' that doesn't belong. They may be needy, and I don't have the energy to deal with that.People who are recently divorced or widowed may temporarily not be ready to get involved with someone new. Chronic lateness is inconsiderate, and can also indicate the person is avoiding relationships, but don’t assume that punctuality means he or she’s a catch. Conversely, someone may conceal his or her past due to shame, which may create an obstacle to getting close. Pay attention to the facts, especially if there’s mutual attraction. If you overlook, deny, or rationalize to avoid short-term disappointment, you run the risk of enduring long-term misery. Do you think you’re so independent you don’t need anyone? Do you fear falling in love, because you may get hurt? If you answered yes to some of these questions, counseling can help you heal in order to risk getting close.In the middle are those who are too afraid to risk falling in love, because they’ve been hurt by one or more relationships, which may include being hurt by a parent when they were a child. Find out if the person has had a long-term relationship, and why it ended. These people look for and find a fatal flaw in the opposite sex and then move on. When they can’t find imperfection, their anxiety rises. Be honest with yourself about your own availability, too: 1. Do you like making or hearing jokes at their expense? If you’re involved with someone who's emotionally unavailable, pressuring him or her to be more intimate is counterproductive.You end up feeling alone, depressed, unimportant, or rejected.Usually, women complain about emotionally unavailable men.” Or will bringing it up at all make me seem needy and jealous? It’s like making a New Years resolution to do cardio, but refusing to ever set foot in the gym. Maybe this guy needs a dictionary to clarify the term “exclusive,” but, by pretty much any standard, “exclusive” doesn’t mean logging onto Match to peruse other women.
Some use anger, criticism, or activities to create distance.
You make an good point that the lists are confusing.
I state at the outset that some people may be choose to be unavailable for good reasons.
That would be counter-productive or even destructive. Ironically, even though I make it clear to men that I'm not looking for a relationship, they continue to try to have one with me. So being unavailable is not necessarily a bad trait. This first list let's us assume that this kind of person must be abusive & controlling which isn't always the case.
The first ten 'signs' of unavailability are descriptive of a narcissist, not necessarily of someone unable to give of themselves in a relationship. The next ten questions, I could answer Yes to at least six questions and a couple more could go either way, depending on the circumstances of the relationship. I definitely know I'm not 'available,' emotionally or otherwise, for or in a relationship. While the second list points at the opposite direction. person has trust issues, low self-esteem, is a loner) Which can be fixed if the partner shows enough trust and love AND DOESN'T run away because some website pretends that emotionally unavailability equals abusive behaviour & narcissism.