Common dating mistakes women make
Assertiveness is not to be confused with being bossy or demanding.Being tactful and direct is the quickest path to relationship success. Sacrificing too much to get the relationship: If you find that you are doing things you would not otherwise do to get someone’s attention, like bending over backwards and injuring your spine in the process, then you are entering the land of the doormats.
It creates the sense of well-being and euphoria that comes with “falling in love.” This might as well be dubbed the period of temporary insanity, because you are not in command of all your faculties; your brain is hijacked by those lovely chemicals, interfering with your ability to think clearly.
Unless you can ascertain and directly communicate your needs (by being clear and specific), then you are basically operating on a child level.
While many people get by this way, it is not very effective, and puts you at a disadvantage when you are trying to get your needs met.
If fear of commitment is an obstacle, better to work out your patterns (or schemas) in therapy than in your relationships. If you do it, then you need to pace yourself, and be more considerate of the other person, who you are probably leading on. Not being honest about your needs: Pretending everything is OK can work for only so long.
If you fall for those who do it, then you need to slow things down and not get taken for a ride (or pursue a different type! Assertiveness is a golden skill for those who are ready for a mature relationship.